Fighting Our Way Through The Darkness
by AddieGreysPPPlover9119
Summary: AU; 6X22-23 and onward. Sequel to "Regret" 6 months after the shooting, Addison is back in Seattle secretly trying to make things work with Derek. Join Addison, Derek, Carson and Ryan as they try to navigate through a new life together again but it's not without any costs. Rated M for adult themes. Mentions of Maddison but ultimately ADDEK. REPOST.
1. Part I: Who We Are (Prologue)

"Fighting Our Way Through The Darkness"

**a/n: my sincerest apologies ahead of time for this **_**VERY long **_**author's note **

**Hello Peeps!**

**Okay so, this is a repost first of all. It's the sequel to Regret. Initially when I wanted to do a sequel, I got writers block so, I turned the story into a role-play account with HeroesEmmaLee and 2 other role players. So, at first, the account was AMAZEBALLS, just…beyond brilliant and then…shit happened, drama, craziness and then…the account just sort of went-dormant for a while. I, well Emma and I tried to keep it going but, it just fizzled and died out. BUT, I tried reviving it(the fanfic) and I was halfway done BUT…my flash drive decided to be a dick and commit suicide-when I was NEARLY finished with the fic AND, like an idiot, I DIDN'T SAVE A BACK UP COPY TO MY COMPUTER(lesson learned: ALWAYS save a copy of ANYTHING you do to a computer-as a just in case your flash drive decides to be a dick and commit suicide). So, any who, My initial plan was for Fighting Our Way Through The Darkness to be a three part fic(but all apart of 1 story). It's of course an Addek (Addison and Derek) fanfic and will most likely(with and if things go according to plan) be my longest fanfic yet. I ship 3 major Grey's/PPP couples: Maddison(My Babies! I'm so bummed that Kate AND Eric are leaving Grey's/PPP-no more Mark and Addie), Addisam(A girl can dream, right? I know I know DO NOT judge me!) and Addek. Each couple has several one shots, a couple of short chapter fics and 1 MAJOR chapter fic. The Maddison long fic is the ever popular "It's A Wonderful Life"(which could possibly have 40 chapters-or so), the Addisam fic is "Perfect Timing"(36 Chapters)and this fic will be…I'm not sure just how many chapters it'll have but, it's definitely going to be my LONGEST one yet. So, little background information of this story/storyline:**

**It's AU obviously. The biggest change is that Derek and Addison had 2 children, a girl Carson(who's about 15-16 around the time of Regret) and Ryan(who's about 10-11 at the time of Regret). Most things stay the same, until you get to season 6 of Grey's. Everything after that is VERY AU.**

**Okay first, the disclaimers:**

**-I DO NOT OWN Grey's Anatomy**

**-The ONLY Characters I own are the Montgomery-Shepherd/Montgomery-Sloan Kids**

**-This story is M rated for sex, violence, and mature adult themes(such as drugs and rape)**

**-I do NOT in ANY way support ANY of the themes that are written about**

**-I cannot take all of the credit here, the Carson parts-all courtesy of HeroesEmmaLee**

**-The Character faces of the Montgomery-Shepherd/Montgomery-Sloan kids: **

**Carson-Haley Raam/ or possibly Holland Roden(as Younger/Older Carson)**

**Ryan-Tyler Patrick Jones(young Ryan); Tom Welling(Older Ryan)**

**Older Avery(Suri Cruise)**

**Ella Montgomery-Sloan(Elle Fanning or Ava Philippe)**

**Brecken Sloan(Deacon Philippe)**

**Sommer Montgomery(Maggie Grace Jones)**

**-The 3 Parts are as follows:**

**Part I: Who We Are**

**Part II: The Breaking Point(yes parts I and II are the title of the intervention episode of PPP)**

**Part III: Fighting Our Way Through The Darkness**

**Ummm…I can't Really Think of anything else that needs to be said really so…**

**Happy Reading!**

**Xoxo, Dee**

* * *

Part I: Who We Are

Prologue: 10 years into the future

Carson-2022

It's the moment she's been waiting for: the day she starts her internship at Seattle Grace Mercy-West Hospital. It was the only hospital she applied to, of course with her family's incredible reputation at this hospital and their incredible contributions to medicine, she was a sure in plus(her pseudo grandfather was once chief of surgery here). She stands outside taking everything in. It's been years since she set foot in here. The last time she was here, her "grandpa Richard" was retiring, and she was just entering medical school-that was 4 years ago. So much has changed since then. Grandpa Richard passed away peacefully about 6 months ago in New York with her parents by his side. Nearly everyone who worked under him at Seattle Grace showed up to his funeral. She thinks of Richard Webber and smiles softly, recalling a conversation they had just a few short weeks before he died.

"_So Carley, tell me, where do you plan on doing your residency?" the older, ailing black man asked with a smile_

"_Seattle Grace Grandpa Richard, where else would I do it?" the redhead chuckled lightly_

"_Mt. Sinai is just as good" her father said from the kitchen_

"_Derek, let her be. Seattle Grace is all she's ever known for most of her life" her mother replied_

"_But still, she's supposed to follow in the Montgomery-Shepherd-Sloan tradition: Either NYU, Bowdowin, or Yale for college, Columbia of course for Med School, Mt. Sinai for her internship and then, she can become an attending at Seattle Grace, that's the plan" her uncle Mark said from a nearby stool in the kitchen of her parents Manhattan penthouse_

"_Mark, when has Carson ever done things like us?" Addison smirked_

"_Addie has a point Mark. I mean, we did shell out all of that money of…Stanford for college-"_

"_But at least she did Columbia for med school!" Mark shot back_

"_Only because we told her we wouldn't continue funding her education if she didn't" Addison informs him_

"_Which was…possibly the greatest decision they could've ever made" Carson laughed_

"_See? Aren't you glad you listened to us, for once?" her mother laughed_

"_Okay, you guys were right about Columbia. I definitely wouldn't have gotten the same experience if I'd stayed at Stanford" The younger redhead replied_

"_You're gonna do just fine, wherever you choose to go" Richard said to her, squeezing her hand gently_

"_Thanks grandpa Richard, you're the only one with an unbiased opinion!" she said loud enough for her parents and godfather to hear._

Now as she stands in front of a much different Seattle Grace Mercy West, she takes in a deep breath and heads inside the place that defined most her life, and brought her family back together in one of the most crazy, unconventional ways ever.

"It's okay Car, you can do this" the young redhead said to herself, reaching inside of her shirt to fiddle with the locket that held a picture of her younger brother Ryan.

"I know you're proud of me Ry, wherever you are" she whispered softly, closing her eyes for a moment as she thought about her only brother, who had recently taken off for some unknown country overseas. She hoped wherever he was, that he was happy. She took a deep breath, and headed inside.

...

"Alright everybody, let's get this over with… head count: Winston?"

"Here"

"Salamore?"

"That's me"

"Montgomery-Shepherd? Montgomery-Shepherd?"

Carson shyly raised her hand and made herself identified, as everyone turned to face her.

"That, that's me" she said softly

And just like that, the whispers began.

Dr. Carson Forbes Montgomery-Shepherd was by all standards: perfect. She came from medical royalty: her mother was Dr. Addison Forbes Montgomery-Shepherd, world class OBGYN/Neonatal surgeon. Her father was Dr. Derek Shepherd, world class neurosurgeon. Her Aunt was Dr. Amelia Shepherd, also a world class neurosurgeon. her Uncle was THE Dr. Archer Forbes Montgomery. Her godfather was Dr. Mark Sloan, the BEST damn plastic surgeon of the current century. So it didn't come as a surprise to many when Carson decided to follow in her medically famous family's footsteps and become a surgeon. It was even less of a surprise when she chose to do her residency at Seattle Grace Mercy West Hospital.

But it didn't stop people from talking when they heard the name Montgomery-Shepherd, and saw her Red hair and uniquely blue eyes.

"Do you know who that is?"

"Yeah that's that Montgomery-Shepherd girl"

"I hear she's like medical royalty"

"You know her parents used to work here; in fact her dad was chief once"

"All right people, let's settle down with the chatter. "Dr. Montgomery-Shepherd, it is truly a pleasure to meet you; I've had the privilege of working under both your parents, who are both great doctors but I'm letting you know ahead of time, I don't show favoritism because of who you know or because of who your parents know and especially because of who your parents are; you want to make the cut to be in Seattle Grace's surgical program, you will your pull your weight around here just like the rest of the interns, is that understood?" Dr. Barnes said

"Yes"

"Alright good…Westbrook?"

"Right here"

"and Jamieson?"

"Here"

"Alright people listen up; your first shift starts now and ends in 48 hours, for those of you who don't know how long that is I'll tell you: 2 whole days; for the next 2 days you will eat, sleep, and breathe Seattle Grace Mercy West, you will discharge, you will run labs, you will scut, you will sutcher, you will watch surgeries not assist, unless you are asked by an attending, which will likely not happen unless you know some of the attendings like Dr. Montgomery-Shepherd here, but if you don't know any attending or aren't sleeping with any, which brings me to my next rule: Don't sleep with the attendings, it will only turn out bad for you, If you are not asked to assist, then you will watch the surgeries, you will speak when spoken to and nothing less is that understood?"

"Yes" the interns replied

"Alright there's an incoming trauma into the ER let's move people…alright Winston, you're on lab duty, Salamore, Scut, Westbrook, discharge, Jamieson you're with Westbrook…alright Montgomery-Shepherd, I'm putting you on sutcher duty…Let's see if the greatness that is the Montgomery-Shepherd dynasty happened to rub off on you" Dr. Barnes said as she walked away to attend to another patient. Carson was left standing in the middle of the busy ER, they eyes of the other interns watching her, secretly hoping she sucked. She was terribly nervous, but she shook it away _"You're a Montgomery-Shepherd, you can do this"_ she told herself reassuringly before she proceeded in doing a record breaking number of sutchers within a 3 hour time frame.

* * *

"How many sutchers have you done Montgomery-Shepherd?" Dr. Barnes asked as she saw her perfectly sutchering a young boy's arm

"I lost count at like 40"

"40?"

"Yeah"

"_You've done over 40 sutchers in 3 hours?" _Dr. Barnes said giving Carson a 'I don't really believe you' look

"Its true she did; in fact, she did my sutchers" a woman being looked at by another resident said as Dr. Barnes walked closer to examine the woman's stitches

"She did this?"

"Yes"

"You did this Montgomery?"

"Yes"

"Where the hell did you…never mind, one of the perks of having Mark Sloan as your godfather"

"Actually, I learned from my Aunt Amelia; she's a neurosurgeon like my dad"

"I know who she is…I was in college when the paper was published about the gliosarcoma she and your father removed from a woman's skull…and don't be a wise ass Montgomery…I'm not calling you Montgomery-Shepherd, its too much to be saying and you don't need any of the other interns and some of the residents giving you hell, so Montgomery or Shepherd, but not both"

"Montgomery's fine"

Dr. Barnes smiled, "Following in mommy's foot steps huh? Those are some pretty big shoes to fill"

"I know, but luckily we both have the same great taste in shoes though huh?" Carson grinned

"You're being a wise ass again Dr. Montgomery" Dr. Barnes said slightly smiling as she walked

away

"Sorry" Carson said as she went back to sutchering; 3 hours down, 45 more to go…

2 Days later

When she finally made it back to the apartment she shared with her boyfriend Drew, Carson was _exhausted_.

"Hey, I finally get to see my beautiful girlfriend" The 6 foot 3 dark haired green eyed law student said as he leaned in and gave his girlfriend a kiss

"Hi" Carson said to him through a yawn before moving to lie down on the couch.

"So, how was it being back there?" Drew asked from the kitchen

"It was…bittersweet" Carson said with her eyes closed

"Bittersweet?" Drew asked as he stood in front of the refrigerator trying to decide what to cook for dinner.

"Yeah, I mean, I spent most of my adolsecent and teenage years there. My father was shot in that hospital, my mother was...raped and nearly beaten to death in the parking lot. Avery was born there. That's where they took me when I was…on drugs, that's where my Uncle Archer went when he had his surgery, that's where we took Ryan when had his accident…Seattle Grace brings back a lot of good, and wayy too many bad memories for me" Carson said through a yawn before she drifted off to sleep, dreaming of the place that brought her such pain and misery for nearly half of her life.


	2. Raindrops Keep Falling On My Head

Chapter 2: Raindrops Keep Falling On My Head

**a/n: Hey guys! I know it's been forever since I updated this but, like I said in chapter 1, a LOT of bullshizzle happened so, I've sorta had to start over from scratch. So, chapter 2 is basically a flashback and I must add, it's a pretty short chapter. The next couple of chapters are gonna be flashbacks, but this is the most notable flashback because it's the night of the Addek affair told through Carson's eyes. Anywho, I plan on updating this as much as my personal life will let me.**  
**Enjoy **  
**Xx**

FLASHBACK:

Everything Carson Montgomery-Shepherd had known was changed within an instant one rainy night in Manhattan. She was supposed to be asleep; she had school the next morning, but who could sleep with the storm that was taking place outside, as well as the storm taking place inside of the Montgomery-Shepherd house. That night would change the 10 year old red head's life permanently.  
"Derek, Derek listen to me, Derek you can't do this! Derek We have to-we need to talk about this, you have to give me a chance to explain…what are you doing, what are you doing with my clothes?"  
"Derek it was one time! I know that's what people say, I know that's what always gets said it's just…I don't even know how it happened, I don't know what I was thinking…he was just here"  
"You screw my best friend and all you can say is 'he was just here'? get out"  
"No"  
"Get out"  
"No, No I'm not going, we need to talk about this! We need to talk about this Derek Please"  
"Get out of my house now"  
Until this moment, Carson had been listening to the fight between her parents from the comfort of her bedroom. But once she heard them descend down the stairs, she quietly crept out of her bedroom and stood on the top landing of the stairs. What would transpire next would be the beginning of the end of life as she knew it

"No I'm holding my ground. I'm holding my ground…we don't quit! We have to work…what are you doing? Derek…no!"  
Almost in an instant Carson witnessed her father grab her mother by the arms and forcibly throw her out of their house and into the pouring Manhattan rain in only his oversized T-Shirt.  
"Derek! Derek please!"  
He stood there for a moment, leaning against the door, listening to her sob before opening the door again; she was soaking wet and sobbing as she held onto him

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry okay, you have to give me a chance, you have to give me a chance to show you how sorry I am…I'm sorry okay" she said wrapping her arms around her husband  
"I'm gonna go you stay I'll get my things in the morning"  
"No, no, no, no, no, we can survive this…Derek we can survive this…we're, we're 'Addison-and-Derek'"  
"I can't look at you…I look at you and I feel nauseous….I just…We're not Addison-and-Derek anymore"  
"If you go now…if you go now we are not gonna get through this…If you go now, we don't have a chance…we don't have a chance…if you go now…if you go"  
The next day when she returned home from school, her father's things were gone and so was he…


	3. Death And All His Friends

Chapter 3: Death And All His Friends

**a/n: So Chapter 3 flashes forward from 2004, to the Season 6 Finale of Grey's. Carson's about 15-16ish at this point. Some of this may look very familiar, and that's because part of this chapter and possibly the next few chapters are from "Regret" I'm breaking these next few chapters down into various POV's, just to make things more interesting. There are also gonna be setting jumps as well, from SGMW to LA, just so you know.**  
**Enjoy**  
**Xx**

St. Ambrose Hospital, Los Angeles

Addison Forbes Montgomery was on a high that day. She had just performed 2 surgeries and delivered 4 babies. She stopped when she saw her new potential love interest, Oncologist Dr. Jason Wallace; the two had been going out every day for the past 2 weeks since her return from Seattle, and she really liked him.  
"Hey, Juju?" He said holding a cup of "Juju" out towards the red head  
"Thanks"  
"How was your surgery?"  
"Good, Good"  
"So I was thinking that maybe this weekend we could go out to dinner, there's this new place over in West Hollywood…"  
"Sounds nice"  
"Great, great, so I'll pick you up around 7?" He said coming closer towards her, placing their coffees onto the desk of the nurses' station, as his hands traveled to her waist  
"It's a date" she said leaning in for a kiss, which lasted for a while, because once they opened their eyes, they had an audience  
"I, I've gotta go…I'll call you?" she said blushing as she walked away. As she walked towards the waiting room of St. Ambrose Hospital, she instantly stopped when she noticed all of her friends were standing there with sad looks on their faces. She instantly felt uneasy when she approached them.  
"What's going on?" she asked warily  
"Addison, we just got a call from Seattle Grace Mercy West" Charlotte King said softly  
"What happened? Charlotte, what happened?"  
"There was a hostage situation…your ex husband was shot"  
Addison instantly froze, once she heard Charlotte's words: Derek had been shot. Her mind instantly went to Carson and Ryan who had to be terrified.  
"What, what about Carson and Ryan?" she asked shakily  
"Carson saw the whole thing" Naomi said as she approached her best friend, holding her steady as she felt Addison's knees buckle  
"And Ryan?"  
"They, they don't know where he is"  
All of this news became too much for Addison, who instantly hit the floor…  
When she woke up, there was a crowd of people standing around her  
"What, what happened?" she asked as she sat up, her eyes fully coming into focus  
"Addison, you collapsed after Charlotte told you about the shooting" Naomi said  
"Carson…Ryan…Derek! I need to get to Seattle" Addison said trying to stand up  
"As soon as you get checked out, then we'll go" Naomi told her  
"I need to go now" Addison said as she stood  
"Addison just let Pete check you out" Charlotte said softly  
"A crazed gunman just held Seattle Grace, the place some of my closest friends work, hostage, my ex husband's been shot, my daughter witnessed the entire thing, and to top it all off no one knows where the hell my son is in the midst of all of this chaos! I need to be in Seattle right now!" Addison said…

Seattle Grace Mercy West Hospital, Seattle

Things between Carson Forbes Montgomery and her father had significantly changed in the past 2 weeks; the two had formed a strong bond that was one filled with hurt, mistrust, and broken promises, now filled with love and new possibilities. As she sat in her father's office with her father and younger brother Ryan, 4th year resident April Kepner burst into his office; she was covered in blood and rambling incoherently. It took him a moment, to understand what she was saying, but it finally hit him: there was a gunman in the hospital. His hospital.  
"Dad, what's going on?" Carson asked worriedly  
"Stay here, don't move" Derek said  
"But dad what's going on?"  
"Stay here Carson, don't move" he said again before walking out the door.  
After a while, Carson became restless. It had been over an hour since her father and the strange looking girl left his office and she had become increasingly worried.  
"Ryan stay here, I'm gonna go look for dad" Carson said as she stood up  
"No Carley, dad said wait here"  
"I'll be right back I promise, here take my cell phone, if I'm not back in 10 minutes, call mom and tell her what's going on okay?"  
"Okay…I'm scared Carley"  
"Yeah me to Ry, me too" she said as she left the office…  
She wandered around near the office until she spotted her father, and a strange looking man standing on the CAT walk exchanging some sort of words. A few moments later, the older looking man pulled out a gun. Her heart stopped as the man pulled out the gun; she instantly went to run towards her father, but someone or something held her back, she turned to see Meredith and Cristina holding her.  
"What the hell are you doing? He's got a gun!" Carson shouted  
"Carson you may not like me, but I can't let you go out there and get killed, your mom and dad would kill me if something happened to you" Meredith told her  
"We can't just let him kill him! Dad-" Before Carson could finish her sentence, Meredith covered her mouth, as the man, later identified as Gary Clarke, fired on single shot which instantly sent Derek to the ground. After freeing herself from Meredith and Cristina's grasp, Carson instantly rushed towards her father, crying hysterically as she placed her hands on the spot where the blood came rushing out of Derek's chest.  
"Dad! Daddy! Daddy! Don't die! Please don't die! You can't die! I take it all back, I'm sorry, you weren't a bad husband! You weren't a bad father! Daddy please get up! Daddy please get up! DADDY!...  
As Carson lay on the ground next to her father, Meredith came and crouched beside her, speaking gently to her  
"Carson, he's gonna be fine Okay"  
"How the hell is he gonna be okay! He's been shot!"  
"I know, but you have to help us get him to an OR so that Cristina can operate, okay?"  
Carson looked up at Meredith and nodded as she stood up so that they could get her father to the OR.  
"Meredith, I'm scared…what if he dies?"  
"He's not going to die Carson, I promise you that"  
Carson nodded, burying her head in Meredith's chest as she sobbed...  
After several hours of surgery, Derek survived. Once the surgery was over, Carson wandered aimlessly out into the hallway, seeing police officers taking statements from everyone and assessing all of the damage that Gary Clark had done. Mark, who had just returned from Seattle Presbyterian after being with Lexie and Alex Karev, who had been shot point blank, was the first person to spot his goddaughter  
"Carson! Carson! Oh my God Carley, is this your blood? Are you bleeding? Carson honey talk to me" Mark said frantically, noticing the blood on her clothes  
"He, he shot him…he, he pulled out a gun and…he, he, he shot him…" Carson said over and over  
"Carson, Carson honey, look at me, who got shot?" Mark said cupping the young girl's face  
"My, my daddy…that man…he shot…he shot my daddy Uncle Mark…he shot him! I saw it! The whole thing! There was so much blood! He shot my daddy!" Carson whispered before bursting into sobs as Mark picked the young girl up and held her, kissing the top of her head as he tried to soothe her  
"Shh, Carson, its okay sweetie, you're okay, I've got you, you're safe now, that man's gone, he's gone, your dad's alright, I've got you, Uncle Mark's got you"


	4. Safety

Chapter 4: Safety

**a/n: no big note here, just the fact that I accidentally deleted this part from my computer and had to pull it from the actual story. I have to say, re reading Regret makes me want to finish this fic even more. So if you guys review this, it'll help with the writing and brainstorming process even more.**

**Xx**

Seattle Tacoma International Airport, Seattle

It didn't take long for Addison Forbes Montgomery to charter a private jet(the perks of being a Montgomery) and head straight to Seattle. She was sure that with the amount of Red wine she downed during the flight, that she would be even more of a mess. Luckily for her, her best friend Naomi decided to tag along; after all, she was Carson and Ryan's godmother. Almost immediate after landing, Addison and Naomi rushed through the airport and towards the nearest car rental service to find a car to get to Seattle Grace. Addison tried as hard as she could not to look at the televisions that flashed what would later be known as the 'Seattle Grace Mercy West Massacre'. In all over 20 people were dead and even more were injured.

Once she and Naomi had gotten their rental car, she picked up her phone and dialed the one person she knew that could tell her what was going on: Mark.

Thankfully, he hadn't been hurt in the accident at all; it was so like Mark Sloan to escape the face of danger unscathed.

"How is she Mark? Is she okay?" Addison asked Mark as she and Naomi placed their things into their rental car

"Yeah Addie, she's fine…they both are" Mark said softly as he watched his two godchildren sleep in an on call room

"They found Ryan? Oh thank God. Where was he Mark?"

"He'd been in Derek's office the entire time; cops found him hiding in Derek's office underneath his desk"

"He always did like that desk, even when Richard was chief" Addison said softly "But he's okay, right?"

"He's fine Addison"

"How's Derek?"

"In ICU. Yang did surgery on him"

"Cristina Yang?"

"Yeah…Teddy was over at Seattle Pres with another patient then she had to take a bullet out of Karev"

"Alex got shot!?"

"Yeah…it was a bloodbath Addison"

"You okay?"

"Me? Yeah I'm fine…Carley, she scared me half to death I saw her, she had blood all over her clothes, she just kept saying 'he shot him, he shot my daddy'…Meredith says she saw the whole thing…they guy came into the OR"

"Oh my God"

"Yeah, and Grey told him to shoot her"

"She did what?!"

"Yeah, she wanted the guy to shoot her instead of Derek"

"Oh my God Mark, this is just, how the hell did this happen?"

"This guy, Gary Clarke, his wife was a patient here a few weeks back; she was brain dead. Shep did all he could but, there wasn't much he could do, so they pulled the plug. The guy tried to sue the hospital but, didn't work out. He just walked in here Addison. He walked in, asked for the chief of surgery and when no one could tell him where Derek was, he started shooting" Mark says quietly

"Oh my God...but, Derek's gonna live right, he's gonna be okay, isn't he?"

"Altman and Yang say he should live"

"Oh thank God, because I don't think I could handle it if he..."

"Yeah, I know. How far are you guys from the hospital?"

"Maybe 20 minutes…do you think we'll even be able to get near the hospital?"

"Callie's outside waiting for you, so you'll be good to get in…how's Amelia taking the news?"

"Not good…she didn't want to come; she said she couldn't see him like that"

"Oh yeah, especially after…"

"Yeah"

"I called Carolyn and Nancy, they said they'd be here tomorrow…think you'll be ready to face them?"

"I have no choice; Derek and I have kids together so, I have to deal with them"

"Kathleen and Jenny still hate you"

"Yeah I know"

"They still hate me too"

"Don't be ridiculous, they'll forgive you long before they forgive me…they never liked me, neither did Carolyn…she said I was too rich and privileged for Derek"

"It wasn't like that Addie; I know that, Derek knows that"

"Yeah, but he didn't fight for me did he? Nope, I had to sit there and be insulted by his sisters and his mother for nearly 12 years"

"It'll be okay Red, look just grin and bear it, besides you're not really here for them, you're here for your kids"

"Thanks Mark"

"Anytime, see you when you guys get here"

"Okay, Bye"

Just as Mark hung up the phone, Carson began to stir around

"Hey, Carley, I just off the phone with your mom, she should be here soon" he said softly

"Did, did that stuff really happen or was it just a bad dream?" She asked softly

Mark sighed and shook his head,

"No sweetie I'm sorry, it was real"

"Where's, where's…"

"Ryan? Right next to you see? The police found him in your dad's office"

Carson looked over at her sleeping 10 year old brother and gently stroked his face

"It was scary Uncle Mark"

"Yeah, I know it was. I was worried about you"

"How's mom?"

"She's freaking out as usual" Mark said with a grin

"Yeah, I'll bet she is"

"Between you and Derek, she's gonna have a heart attack" Mark said with a laugh as they looked back up and saw Addison and Naomi standing in the doorway

"I thought you said 20 minutes?" Mark said as he walked towards the door, hugging Naomi first

"Yeah well this one is a speed devil on the interstate. We got pulled over and you know what she told the cop? She said 'My ex husband is the chief of surgery and my daughter saw him get shot, so if you're going to give me a ticket, you can bill me, I'm a Forbes, I'm good for it" Naomi said before going over to where Carson was, leaving Addison standing in front of Mark quietly

"You okay?"

"No, Derek's shot, Carson saw it, Ryan went missing...this place is cursed" the redhead said tearfully as Mark pulled her in for a long hug as they both inhaled the familiar scents of Chanel No. 5 and Armani

"Yeah, I'm starting to think that too" Mark muttered

"I'm serious; think about bomb in the hospital, ferry boat crash, George O' Malley got hit by a bus, Izzie Stevens got cancer...they should rename this place Seattle Grace Mercy Death" Addison said with a laugh before heading over to Carson

"Carson!" Addison said tearfully

"Mom! Oh Mom I was so scared!" Carson said getting out of bed and running into Addison's arms

"Oh sweetie! Thank God you and your brother are alright" Addison said holding her daughter tight

"You okay?" Addison asked, cupping the young girl's cheeks

"It was so scary mom, I thought daddy was gonna die" Carson said tearfully as Addison pulled her in for a tight hug

"Shh, your father's alright; he's gonna be fine, I promise you that" Addison said as Ryan began to stir around

"Hey big guy" Mark said ruffling his hair

"Hey Uncle Mark…mom!" Ryan said as he sat up in bed

"Oh Ryan! Oh honey, I'm so glad you're safe" Addison said going over the bed to hug him, as Meredith coming to stand in the doorway, causing everyone to look at her

"Derek's asking to see you all" she said softly…


	5. Reunion

Chapter 5: Reunion

She was nervous. Addison Forbes Montgomery was rarely nervous, but right now she was nervous. As she walked into his hospital room, her breath got caught in her throat. Seeing him, Derek Christopher Shepherd, hooked up to all of those tubes, did something to her. Her vision became blurry; her breathing became ragged, as she leaned against the door for support. She couldn't do this, not today. It was too soon. He'd just escaped death just a few hours earlier and that for Addison was much too soon to the see the man she loved and the father of her children in such a state.  
She was just about to run, when she felt a certain pair of hands pressing on her shoulders; Richard Webber.  
"I can't, Richard, I can't" she said shakily  
"He's been asking for you"  
"By name?"  
"Yeah, you were the first person he asked to see when he came to"  
"Okay now I think you're just playing games with me; the first person he'd want to see would be Meredith, or Carson and Ryan" Addison said  
"No, he asked for you, by name, now go on, go see the man" Richard said encouragingly before walking down the hall.  
She took in a deep breath before walking into the room where she found Meredith Grey sitting diligently by Derek's bedside.  
"Oh, sorry I'll just-" but she stopped when his eyes met with hers as he slowly motioned for her to come near him.  
"Ad-Addie, you came" he said softly  
"Yeah…" she said, her eyes full of tears  
"You okay? You're crying?"  
"You scared me half to death Derek, what'd you expect"  
"I didn't mean to upset you honey I'm sorry"  
"Honey? Okay those must be some good drugs for you to call me 'honey'" she said laughing  
"Yeah, they must be" Meredith said rather bitterly as she watched Addison and Derek interact…

…  
It sucked to be Meredith Grey. She'd lost a baby and possibly now she was losing her "post-it husband" to the woman who took him from her the first time so many years ago. She sat vigil by his bedside for hours, waiting for him to wake up, but when he did, it wasn't her name he was calling.  
"Mere, he's waking up" Cristina Yang whispered to her best friend  
"He's trying to say something, Derek, Derek, can you hear me? It's Meredith"  
"What's he trying to say?" Cristina asked again  
"I don't know! Shh, listen"  
"A-A-Ad-Add-Addison"  
"Did he just say?" Cristina asked  
"Yeah, he did: he said Addison"  
"Why is he calling for her?"  
"I don't know? Derek, Derek, its me Meredith" She said staring down at her boyfriend  
"Where's Addison? Where the hell is Addison?" he said  
"She's with Carson and Ryan Derek, but I'm here"  
"No! Go get Addison!" he demanded, and slowly, Meredith Grey walked into the on call-room to find the woman who seemed to be once again stealing her McDreamy.  
"Derek's asking to see you all" she said softly…

She didn't like the redheaded woman standing her post it husband's hospital room right now. Why was it, that the first person he wanted to see was her Meredith wondered?  
Addison could tell that this was very uncomfortable for the younger Grey woman in the room.  
"I'm just gonna go, I don't wanna intrude on you guys" Addison said softly  
"Addie, you're not-"  
"I'll come back and see you later Derek, you need to rest" she said giving Meredith a slight head nod before exiting the room.  
She avoided the room all together for the next 3 days.  
She just wasn't ready.

3 days later  
"Mark I'm not going!" Addison hissed as she stood outside of Derek's hospital room, watching her children interact with Derek's mother and his sisters  
"Addie, he's been asking to see you for the last 3 days, and quite frankly I'm tired of him asking me 'Where's Addison?' 'Where's Addie?' " Mark said mimicking Derek  
"I don't care! His mother hates me! Kathleen and Jenny hate me…"  
"But Nancy doesn't and neither does Amelia"  
"Mark…"  
"Come on Addie, how bad can it be?" he said lightly shoving her into the room as she quietly protested  
"Hey Der, look who I found" Mark said proudly as everyone in the room stopped to look at Addison  
"Addie! It took you long enough" Derek said rather cheerfully as he motioned for her to come sit next to him  
"Addie! It's good to see you again" Nancy said hugging her, coming to her rescue as a silent awkwardness filled the room  
"Good to see you too Nance…Kathleen, Liz…Carolyn" she said quietly greeting the rest of the Shepherd women who gave her a simple nod  
"Addison, where is Amelia? I heard she seems to have taken up residence with you in Los Angeles" Carolyn said  
"Uh yeah, she decided to stay behind; I tried to get her to come but…" Addison said as she made her way towards Carson and Ryan, giving them quick kisses on their forehead before making her way over to Derek  
"I'm glad you came to see me and decided to stop hiding from me by doing surgery Addie" Derek said smiling  
"Uh, yeah" she said, shifting awkwardly  
"It took you long enough" he said reaching for her hand, which she let him hold  
"Yeah, sorry about that…I just couldn't see you like that at first…but I'm glad you're okay now" she said softly smiling at him  
"Yeah, I'm okay now that you're here" he said giving her his McDreamy smile, which caused Addison to roll her eyes  
"Okay, whatever drugs they've got you on must be working really well" Addison said picking up his chart  
"I'm not on any, well except for a light sedative for pain every now and then" Derek said smartly  
"I can see that" Addison replied as an awkward silence filled the room  
"Well, it's good to know you're alright Derek" she said as she headed towards the door  
"Addison wait!" Derek said causing her to turn her attention to him  
"Yes?"  
"How much longer are you gonna be here, in Seattle I mean"  
"Another day or 2; I'll let the kids stay a little longer, if you want" she replied  
"I'd like it if you stayed a little longer too" Derek said, causing Addison to raise a perfectly arched eyebrow at him  
"Why?"  
"It would make me feel better knowing that you're here"  
"Okay, are you're sure they don't have you on anything?" Addison asked slightly laughing  
"Nope, I'm completely lucid"  
"O-kay, since you're completely lucid, then you won't get mad when I decline your offer to stay" she said  
"Why?"  
"Why what Derek" she said tiredly; after nearly 4 years of being divorced and a messy dating history back in LA which included a cop, a heart surgeon, one Mark Sloan, her co worker, an almost mistake with her best friend's ex husband, and currently a hot oncologist,-it was still Derek Christopher Shepherd who pulled at her heart strings…after all of these years, he still had power over her; sometimes she curses herself for letting him become her baby daddy-but then she quickly rids herself of the thought because without Carson and Ryan, she'd be nothing…  
"Why won't you stay?" Derek replied  
"Because Derek, you have enough company here, plus I don't think it would be appropriate for your ex wife to be around while your…wife is helping you recover"  
"She's not my wife…" he said but quickly added once he saw the hurt in Meredith's eyes and the glare Addison was giving him  
"Not legally anyways; she's still my wife, and I don't think Meredith would mind Addie"  
"No but your mother would…the woman hates me" Addison muttered under her breath; luckily no one, except Derek, Mark and Carson heard her remark  
"Okay guys, you mind giving me and Addie a moment alone?" Derek said, causing everyone to look at him strangely  
"You want a moment alone…with your ex wife?" Liz asked  
"Yes…is that a problem Elizabeth?" Derek replied  
"No but it could be" Kathleen replied  
"Addie and I are friends and we have kids together, so…could you guys give us a minute, please?" He asked as everyone reluctantly left the room.  
Once they were alone, there was a long silence, with Addison's back turned away from Derek  
"So you're not even gonna turn around and talk to me?" Derek said in a joking manner  
"You wanted to talk so…talk Derek" Addison replied, her back still turned away from him  
"I want you to stay Addie; the shooting…it did something to me" he said  
"Clearly, because now you're insane"  
"Now you're being a smart ass" Derek replied  
"Why Derek?"  
"Why What?"  
"Why do you want me to stay? You've got Meredith here to take care of you and your mother and your sisters are here and…"  
"Nancy still likes you, so does Amy…and, well there's, Mark"  
"Versus your mother, your 2 sisters, Meredith and Cristina, not to mention Lexie…"  
"You've got Bailey…"  
"Who's out of town"  
"And Richard"  
"Who is at home with Adele"  
"Well, there's Callie and Arizona"  
"Derek…I just want to go home"  
"This used to be your home once"  
"IT WAS NEVER MY HOME! Seattle was never home for me Derek!"  
"Oh and LA is?"  
"Yeah, it is…I have a job, which I love there, and friends and a life and…"  
"You're seeing someone, aren't you?"  
"Not exactly seeing someone…okay sort of…kind of…oh…I don't know what we're doing but…I'm happy there"  
"Are you really?"  
"Yes"  
"Then why don't I believe you?"  
"Because your hormones are still all over the place post surgery…you don't mean any of this stuff you're saying Derek; you don't want me here and if I stay…"  
"If you stay…what Addie?"  
She paused. Dammit, he was doing it to her again; reading her like a book-she hated that about him. Even after several years of being divorced and him falling in love and "marrying" someone else, he could still read her like a book.

She finally turned to look at him as she gave an exasperated sigh, as she fought to hold back the tears that were threatening to fall down her cheeks. Almost as if through an unspoken communication, he patted the bed for her to come and sit down next to him.  
"You wanna tell me what's really bothering you Addie?"  
"You almost died Derek! Carson almost saw you die! Do you know what that would've done to her? And I don't think…"  
And just like that, they had crossed the imaginary friendship border she had worked so hard to build so that they could be civil towards each other for the children's sake after the divorce; he gently placed a hand on top of hers, giving it a gentle squeeze  
"You were afraid that I wouldn't make it, weren't you?"  
And just like that, the tears fell as she sobbed and instantly, he's holding her close; just like old times.  
"If you had died…Derek…I couldn't do it without you, raise them alone…" and just like that his hand is gently stroking her cheek, his thumb wiping away her tears and just like that she wants to kiss him but stops herself. She gets up from the bed and straightens her scrubs and heads for the door; she doesn't look back when he calls her name…


	6. Who Can I Run To

Chapter 6: Who Can I Run To

**a/n: because you can't have Addek without a little Maddison.**

As he lay there next to her, her body nuzzled closely next to his, he cursed himself. He knows he shouldn't have but…she was so desperate, so lost that he had to comfort her…in the only way he knew how. It was an unspoken rule between the two of them: they sought each other out in times of tragedy. Their paths would have eventually crossed while she was in Seattle-it always happened. He felt that he owed her that much after he left her naked in her own bed after she gave him the chance he'd been asking for, for the past several years. He can still hear her voice asking him to stay with her:  
"…But if you're serious, and you want me, then ask again"  
he'd wanted to say yes, but his heart (at the time) belonged to Lexie, so he did the right thing, he turned her down:  
"I'm sorry…I'm so sorry Red" he told her.  
He thought that he and Lexie had a chance but…when he came back, she was screwing Karev down so, he tried a grown up relationship with Teddy but, it still came back to her in the end. When he saw her leaving Derek's room her eyes stained with tears several hours earlier, he knew that the encounter between the two exes hadn't gone so well.  
"Addie, you okay" he asked as she quickly tried to move past him  
"Addison wait,"  
"No Mark! I don't wanna talk about it!" she said as he caught up with her just in time to notice her wiping tears from her eyes  
"What'd he say to you? Do you need me to go kick his ass, cause you know I will; shot or not, I'll kick his ass" Mark said, causing her to laugh as she came closer to him as he wrapped his arms around her waist, causing her to laugh  
"I don't need anyone to kiss his ass; he's been shot, that's ass kicking enough" she said  
"True, but seriously Red, what's wrong?"  
"I just, it's Derek and, I just…" and before she knew it, she was kissing him. Kissing Mark Sloan was like, a safe place for Addison. Kissing Mark Sloan helped her to forget.  
"Red, we can't do this" Mark muttered, pulling away from her  
"Mark, please?" she said softly,  
"I can't Addie" He said to her  
"Oh, so it was okay for you to screw me when you came to LA with Sloane and fill my head with false promises about being together, but now that our best friend has been shot you've suddenly grown a moral conscious?" She yelled at him  
"What the hell are you talking about Addison? Is this about LA, because I really am sorry about that Red" he said gently  
"That's just it Mark, you're always sorry! You're sorry for helping me cheat on Derek, you're sorry for ruining my marriage, you're sorry for cheating on me when we were a couple, you're sorry for making me abort the baby-"  
"Whoa, you had the abortion by choice-"  
"BECAUSE YOU LEFT ME NO CHOICE!" She yelled, causing everyone in the hallway to stop and look at them, causing Mark to pull them into an empty on call room.  
"Okay seriously?! You're gonna bring up the baby now? Really Addison?"  
"I wanted that baby Mark!"  
"Bullshit! If you wanted that kid Addison then you would've had it!"  
"No Mark because I refused to put that child through what Carson and Ryan went thorough, of having an absentee dad, except the only difference would've been it would've been neglected because it's father would be out fucking instead of doing surgeries!" Addison shouted  
"You don't know that!"  
"But I know you! I know you Mark! We were together for 2 months and you couldn't even stay faithful to me then!"  
"You cheated on me first!"  
"What?"  
"With Derek, you cheated on me with Derek!"  
"Mark that is just-"  
"You did Addie! You did; you refused to take off the rings-"  
"HE WAS MY HUSBAND! He was my husband and the father of my children! I'm sorry that that meant something to me!"  
"It sure as hell didn't mean much when you were fucking my brains out"  
And for Addison, that was the last straw.  
"Oh fuck you Mark!" she said as she headed towards the door  
"Mark move, move right now!" she yelled at him, but still the plastic surgeon didn't budge  
"Goddammit Mark move!" Addison yelled, attempting to push him out of the way. Pretty soon, her shoves turned into hits. She hit him again and again until she collapsed into a heap of sobs. Mark simply stood there, holding her against him as she let it all out.  
"I was waiting on you to break down" he murmured once her crying has all but subsided  
"Shut up" she whispered as she stared into his eyes before she leaned in and kissed him.  
And just like that, they fell into the same trap that had cost Addison her marriage and nearly cost Mark his best friend and his future son or daughter some 6 years ago.


End file.
